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Nowadays, many people regard the rules of etiquette as something outdated and optional. But the essence of correct behavior lies not in the stiff observance of hundreds of small rules and formalities, but, above all, in a respectful, benevolent attitude towards another person, whoever he may be. As the French moralist Jean de La Bruyère said, "The essence of courtesy consists in the desire to speak and behave in such a way that our neighbors will be pleased with us and with themselves."

• Seating of guests. If there is no seating plan, guests wait standing until the host of the event indicates their seats. The following seating is considered traditional: the host of the event (the hero of the occasion) sits at the head of the table, the seats next to him are reserved for the most honored and older guests, and young people and children sit at the other end of the table.
• Ladies sit at the table first, the men do not sit down until the ladies have taken their seats. Men help ladies to sit down, move chairs.
• It is believed that latecomers are expected no more than 20 minutes, then proceed to the meal. If you yourself are late - apologize and quickly join the general conversation (without getting hung up on the topic of how and why you were late).
• If some dishes and drinks do not suit you due to diet or contraindications, you do not need to publicly announce this so as not to offend the hosts of the event. Just don't eat them.
• Surprisingly, but toothpicks belong in the bathroom, not on the table. Use a toothpick, instill drops, take pills, correct makeup, hair and costume details should be in the restroom.

How to use cutlery

• If you accidentally drop the appliance, don't go under the table. Ask the waiter or event host to get you a new one.
• The device you started using mustn't touch the table anymore. Put it on the edge of the plate, but not on the tablecloth.
• Do not immediately cut the entire serving on a plate into small pieces. It is believed that this way the dish cools faster and loses its taste. It will be more correct to cut one piece at a time and immediately put it in your mouth.

• How to properly hold appliances. The fork should be held with the prongs down, thus pricking pieces of food on it (and not scooping up like a spoon, except when the dish is soft, such as mashed potatoes). The index fingers are located along the handles of the fork and knife, the remaining fingers wrap around the ends of the handles. This is called the "hidden pen method". A less common American tradition suggests that the fork is held in the same way as a writing pen - between three fingers.
• According to etiquette, there are two ways to use cutlery - the classic European(continental) and American. According to the first, the knife and fork are held in hands throughout the meal. The knife is not put aside, even if it is not needed yet. The American way allows you to put the knife on the edge of the plate, then the fork is taken in the right hand and eat only with it.
• If you are asked to hand over the device, hand it over handle forward, holding the middle.

Dating etiquette

• According to etiquette the lady participates in the choice of dishes and chooses first. A common mistake is to tell a man, "Choose as you like." It’s better to ask: “What would you advise to order?” The order to the waiter is voiced by a man.
• A lady should not choose the cheapest dishes, since this can be perceived as a hint of the failure of a man. But you should not order the most expensive ones either: this can make the wrong impression.

When the waiter brings a bottle of wine, the male guest should not uncork it and pour the drink himself: this is the task of the waiter. But you can already pour a second glass without it. First, the man fills the lady's glass, then his own. The glass should be filled a little less than half.

According to the rules of etiquette the gentleman pays first. A lady should not interfere, put money on a man or ask: “Well, how much is there?” If you really want to demonstrate your financial independence, it is better to ask the waiter in advance to split the bill or offer the man to pay a tip.

If a man and a woman are just friends, it is possible to pay the bill in half. In this case, the man, having studied the check, calls the woman the amount of her order, and they agree on a tip. It's worth paying if you really liked the service. In some restaurants, tips are already included in the bill, then the check contains the phrase “Service included” or “Tips included”.

Tips are left after the service is completed. First, you pay off the bill, the waiter brings you change, and only then do you leave a tip. Saying "no surrender" is not recommended, that sounds arrogant.

Tipping is more than just money. It is also your smile and sincere gratitude to the waiter or bartender.

Do not pour a handful of coins out of your wallet in the hand of the waiter, this is bad form, and besides, it interferes with the work of the employee.

Many are concerned about the question how to deal with tips if you pay by credit card. In some establishments it is possible to include a tip in the total bill, but not in all. Another possibility is to transfer the tip to the waiter on his card using special mobile applications, such as Plazius or For Tea. But this also may not always work, and therefore it is best, of course, to take some cash with you to the restaurant in advance.

And what rules of etiquette do you consider necessary and useful?

It is so accepted that men, as the stronger half of humanity, take on the main burden of observing the rules of etiquette, including the rules of restaurant etiquette. And whether it's a visit to a restaurant with a lady or a corporate party, men somehow have to deal with the fair sex. And if you do it, then you need to do it according to the rules! Today we will analyze restaurant etiquette or how to behave in a restaurant when you are going to spend time together.

restaurant invitation

Let's start with the cases in which a man invites a lady to a restaurant. As a rule, this happens when both want to get to know each other better. However, even when they have known each other for many years, there are many reasons to go to a beautiful place, eat delicious food and chat.

An invitation to a restaurant is a great opportunity to get to know each other better.

A man must understand that if he invited a woman, he will have to pay for a visit to the restaurant. But sometimes a woman prefers to pay for dinner herself. This happens if she does not want to be indebted to a man. Whether in this case it is worth continuing the acquaintance, it is up to the man to decide. There are even situations when girls pay for both, but this behavior is more common in France than in our area.

Most restaurants today have separate menus for men (with prices) and women (without prices). This is done so that the fair sex orders whatever she wants, regardless of the cost.

How to behave in a restaurant

Of course, the restaurant begins with arrival at it. If a lady and a gentleman arrive by taxi, the man gets out first and helps his companion out. If by car, the procedure for getting out of the car is the same. Approaching the restaurant, the man opens the door and helps the lady enter. If the lady appeared in a coat or fur coat, the gentleman must take her clothes and hand them over to the wardrobe.

Arriving at a restaurant is the first opportunity to show the rules of etiquette

In an evening restaurant, an evening classic outfit is appropriate for both, but in an inexpensive cafe or ice cream parlor, you can appear in more democratic or clothes. On the contrary, if you go there in a classic suit, and your companion is in a long evening dress and jewelry, this may be inappropriate.

If a table is booked in advance, the head waiter escorts the couple to the table, the man follows in front, showing the lady the way along with the head waiter. Approaching the table, the gentleman pushes back the chair, helping to sit down, and only after that he sits down himself. The man seats the lady in a more comfortable place: for example, overlooking the stage. If the table is against the wall, then it is customary for the girl to be seated with her back to the wall or facing the entrance.

If the lady and the gentleman did not come together, and the gentleman is sitting at a table waiting for the lady, the warned head waiter will lead the woman to the table, while the man should get up when she appears and, pushing back the chair, help the lady sit down at the table. The lady orders first, unless she asks a gentleman to do it for her. In the old days, only a man was engaged in the choice of drinks, today it is the right of both sexes.

According to the rules of etiquette - the lady orders first

If you find it difficult to choose dishes and wine, you can contact the waiter. Do not worry about this, remember that a good waiter should not rush you. When serving, the restaurant worker will first serve the dishes to the lady, then to you. And you, making sure that the lady is ready to start eating and the waiter poured you wine, you can raise and make a toast or eat a little first, and then offer the lady a drink.

You should not fuss in a restaurant: your waiter will have to uncork bottles, pour wine or champagne, if you drop something, you should not pick it up yourself, you must call the same waiter.

During dinner, try to be attentive to your companion: serve a salt shaker if she starts looking for her eyes, ask to bring a fork if you are in a Japanese restaurant and do not know how to use chopsticks. In no case do not rush the lady and do not show any kind of obsession. The first joint visit to a restaurant can decide everything. Seeing a rude and ill-mannered gentleman near her, a woman may forever abandon the idea of ​​\u200b\u200bdating you.

If this is a business dinner with a lady, the rules of behavior are the same. A woman will always remain a lady, even if she is the head of a competing firm.

Memo in your organizer

Remember a few more rules of restaurant etiquette, knowing perfectly well that you will look harmonious at any dinner party or dinner party:

1. Loud conversation in a restaurant is inappropriate.
2. Don't put your elbows on the table.
3. Too low a bow to the plate is not welcome.
4. Do not fall apart in a chair, your posture should be impeccable.
5. You should not blow on a spoon with hot food, it is better to wait for it to cool.
6. Bones from fish or fruit should not be spit out, they must be pulled out with a fork and carefully placed on a plate.
7. If you can't pick up a bone with a fork, or if you don't like one of the dishes, bring a napkin to your face and gently spit the contents into it.
8. If you receive a call on your mobile, it is best to apologize to the caller and reschedule the call.
9. If someone you know is sitting at the tables and you want to chat, you should introduce your lady and either sit down at their table or invite them out. You should not communicate "through the table".

You should not violate the generally accepted norms of communication and decency in a restaurant in any way: shouting loudly to the waiter, criticizing his work, discussing who pays for dinner, and so on. If you do not like something in the service, leave the table and talk to the head waiter. When they bring you a bill in a folder, invest in the same folder the amount indicated on the bill, adding ten percent of the tip to it.

dance invitation

A separate conversation is an invitation to a lady to dance. If you came to a restaurant together, everything is clear: you ask your companion if she wants to dance and invite her to the dance floor, taking into account, of course, that you will not trample her feet. If you are at a corporate party and wish to invite another gentleman's lady, you must first ask for his consent. If your lady was invited, and the lady of the inviter was left alone, according to the unspoken rules of etiquette, you must also invite her to dance. When you do this, keep your hands out of your pockets, remove the glasses from your hands, and don't smoke. Remember that true ladies do not forgive the inability to behave in society! Modern rules of etiquette allow a woman to invite a man to a restaurant. But the rules of behavior for men are the same. The only "deviation" in this case is perhaps a delicate discussion in advance of the question of who to pay. Most likely, you will just pay the bill equally.

When leaving the restaurant, the man dresses first and hands the woman her clothes. He goes to the door first, opens the door and lets the woman out. By the smile of your lady, you will see if you managed to conquer her with your impeccable manners!

Were able to win her attention - get an invitation to visit

A first date, a dinner party, celebrating an important date in a close family circle - all this is an excellent occasion to organize a feast in a memorable place. Any trip to a restaurant is a special event and is accompanied by the selection of the appropriate image in the wardrobe. Stylishly chosen clothes, neat makeup and accessories will remain invaluable if loved ones who intend to share an important meal with you are not familiar with the basic rules of etiquette.

Peculiarities

The basics of restaurant service and etiquette have their own special distinctive features and seemingly insignificant little things that make up the overall impression of the evening. Simple rules begin to operate long before the meeting, for example, it has long been believed that a table in a restaurant should be booked by a man, and also, if possible, he should approach the meeting place a little earlier than the girl.

The first to enter the institution is also a man, if the evening takes place in the company of guests, then according to all the rules, the one who initiated the meeting “leads”, also initially confirming their subsequent consent to payment.

This rule may partially lose its relevance, but still works at secular and business meetings of company leaders and dinner parties during negotiations.

Visitors at the very entrance, according to all the rules, are met by the administrator, also called the head waiter, or the head waiter of the restaurant. The meeting involves greeting and checking the table reservation. If you have a wardrobe, you should leave outerwear there, as well as purchases or, for example, a work briefcase. A man always helps a woman undress by offering a helping hand.

Landing is as follows: a man always gives a woman a more advantageous landing place, for example, overlooking the window or the stage, if the evening involves musical accompaniment. Pushing back one of the chairs, he invites the lady to sit down. Having settled down at the reserved table and having studied the presented menu, you need to make an order.

At this point, you need to correctly call the waiter. Any way to attract attention through all sorts of sounds is considered very ignorant: tapping cutlery on a table or dishes, trying to call out. In such a situation, a simple gesture is enough - a wave of the hand or a nod of the head, accompanied by direct eye contact with the attendants. The most correct option would be to address any representative of the service personnel directly by the name, which is always written on the badge attached to the form.

The opportunity to be the first to order a dish is always given to a guest or a girl, while men follow, as for the choice of alcoholic beverages, it is trusted to the male sex. In principle, initially the distribution of the menu is as follows: the main menu is for the female half, the bar list is for the male.

Try to order the same number of dishes as your companion.

How to behave at the table?

The rules of etiquette in a restaurant require the absence of unnecessary things on the table surface. Thus, it is considered very ignorant to put a phone, keys, wallet or any clothing accessories on the table. A particularly gross mistake is to put a bag on the table. This is not only ignorant towards your conversation partner or company, but also distracts the waiter and other staff of the establishment.

As you sit at your table, keep your posture in mind: with the right fit, there will be no desire to put your elbows on the table or once again lean towards it. It is best to cover your knees with a napkin prepared when setting the table. If you need to leave while eating, then a napkin is placed on your seat.

While waiting for an order, it's time for a little conversation, but loud conversations violate the proper atmosphere for eating, so in restaurant establishments it is customary to communicate with partners in a low voice. Vivid stories, rich gestures, as well as loud peals of laughter are also an indicator of impoliteness.

The waiter serving the table brings the dishes as they are ready, but you should start eating only when everyone in your company has a dish or common snacks.

The basic rules of behavior during meals involve 8 simple steps:

• Do not blow on hot food, wait until the dish has cooled down.
• Maintain correct posture at the table. Do not rest your elbows on the table, keep your posture, do not hide your hands under the table, and do not lean too low over the plate.
• Don't spit out the bones. It is considered impolite to spit fruit, fish or other bones into the palm of your hand or a napkin, try to get the bones with a fork. A more neutral option seems to be shifting the bone into a napkin brought to the mouth.

• Do not eat from someone else's plate, and even more so cutlery. Romance of movie scenes turns out to be a very ignorant violation of table manners
• Do not talk with your mouth full, try not to slurp or make any other sounds that give any assessment of the cooked dishes.
• Don't use personal utensils when serving a shared dish.
• Correctly cut off one piece from the cooked dish, only after eating it, cut off the next one. You should not cut the cooked dish as a whole, the constant picking in the plate looks ridiculous.
• To avoid incidents and for greater confidence, try to dry your hands as often as possible and blot your mouth with a napkin.

How to use the devices?

The most common fear of anyone who goes to a dinner party in a good restaurant for the first time is the inability to cope with the amount of cutlery, and the fear of looking stupid. In fact, there is always logic in everything, and a table set in advance can be read.

Appetizers are served first. A very small plate diameter will tell you which first spoon or small snack fork is better to use. Cutlery is laid out in a strict order of serving dishes.

Next, the first and second courses are served, the devices also most often correspond to the diameter of the plate, and all subsequent ones do not differ much. If today you do not eat soup, then a tablespoon will remain in the same place., and at a certain time of changing the dish, the waiter will take it away.

Special devices for fish dishes are: a special-shaped knife resembling a spatula (which is especially convenient when cutting and separating bones) and a fork with shorter cloves.

Before dessert is served, the cutlery must be changed again. The dessert fork has three cloves, and each of the devices is different in size.

Dessert cutlery is also served for fruit, because it is considered indecent to take food with your hands.

It is not enough to figure out which device and what to eat and cut, it is also important to do it correctly. For example, a knife should always be held in the right hand. If you're not used to eating with a knife, make a habit of practicing this simple skill at home at separate meals. The spoon, as a rule, is not filled entirely, so as not to spill the contents in any case.

The position of the devices on the table is an opportunity to maintain a dialogue with the staff of the establishment. For example, if during a meal it became necessary to leave, but you intend to continue the dish you started, it is customary to put the cutlery in such a way that their ends touch, and if you have finished with the dish, then the cutlery is placed parallel to each other.

There are also other little things that can even tell you whether you liked a certain dish. By crossing the cutlery in such a way that the knife falls between the cloves of the fork, you can tell that you did not like the dish due to its taste or other characteristics, and to tell the opposite and please the waiters and cooks, place the cutlery perpendicular to the side of the table and point it to the right.

After eating, wipe your mouth and hands with a napkin that can be placed on a dish, and place the cutlery parallel to each other with the handles down, so you show that the meal is over, and the waiter can clean the table or continue serving by serving the next dish.

Simple combinations can be a great compliment for the attendants or a signal to pay attention to.

Often a controversial issue arises after eating if you need to pay the bill. Restaurant etiquette assumes that the inviter or the man pays the bill. Splitting the bill is appropriate if dinner or any other meal was friendly. In restaurants, it is customary to give a tip, a pleasant compliment for the staff will be ten percent added to the total bill.

In fashionable establishments, as a rule, in addition to the waiter and the administrator of the hall, the attendants also have to interact with the sommelier. Rarely is a pleasant dinner complete without a bottle of good wine.

2019-12-11 29 Print

Earlier I said why I think the cafe is the best place for a date with a girl especially if it's a first date. In this article, I will tell you about the main intricacies of having a date in a cafe: what to talk about, how to behave, whether it is worth paying for a girl, etc.

Date start

If you decide to have a date with your chosen one in a cafe, first of all, you need to choose a suitable place. You can easily find a good cafe for a romantic date with a girl in almost any city. Even in small towns, you can find more than a dozen such establishments, not to mention large metropolitan areas.

I advise you to invite a girl to a place you know well, where you are sure of the quality of service and know the prices. It will be a big plus if the owners or employees of the cafe are your good friends. If everyone in the institution knows you and treats you with respect, this will allow you to impress the girl. If not, no problem either. Invite a girl to a good coffee shop or tea house, where the staff appreciates and treats each client politely.

I advise you to choose a cafe in some interesting place, for example, in a park or in the city center. This will allow you to continue the date with a romantic walk, which can be a great end to it. If you are determined to invite a girl to your house after the cafe, but you don’t have a car, you can choose a good institution near your house and then smoothly move there.

Important! In a cafe, one should not forget about the elementary rules of etiquette: open the door for the girl, help take off her coat, move the chair back so that she can sit down, offer the menu.

If you don’t want to spend a lot of money, and you agreed to meet for tea, when you come to a cafe, you can not take the menu at all, but simply ask: “Which tea do you like more: black or green?”, - and as soon as the waiter comes up, immediately order a drink. So you will not show yourself as a redneck and will be able to save your money. If you have a first date with this girl, and you have not previously discussed how to spend it, at the meeting you can tell her: “I suggest that you go to have tea in one place where you really like it.” Can add intrigue, saying that she will definitely like this place due to one of her interesting features that are not characteristic of other girls. I will talk about the methods of creating intrigue and its positive impact on the beautiful half of humanity later.

What to talk about with a girl

You can talk to a girl in a cafe absolutely everything about what you want, and about what you are really interested in. Some pickup artists advise telling various emotional stories that will help get the girl on the right wavelength, and in no case should she be tediously interrogated about who she works for, who to study for, how many brothers and sisters she has, etc.

Of course, it makes sense to have an emotional conversation, tell fascinating stories, because in this way you bring the girl into a positive state, thereby arousing interest in yourself. But I do not agree that asking a girl about anything is not worth it. There are several reasons for this:

Personally, I am really interested to know what my new acquaintance is doing, whether she shares my interests and how she spends her free time. It is clear that if I am looking for a girl for one night, the selection criteria will be much lower than if I wanted to create a serious relationship with her. But they won't care. It happens that a young lady is beautiful in appearance, but terribly stupid. I don’t like such girls, and I usually end up with them without going to bed, even if they want, of course, if at the moment I have a permanent mistress.

On a date in a cafe, I advise you to relax and talk about what you are interested in. Almost all popular topics will do: movies, music, travel, sex, etc. Sex and gender relations I especially recommend. But here it is important not to go too far, so as not to seem preoccupied. It is more reasonable to ask a girl what she thinks about certain things.

Good phrases to start a conversation:

• Who do you think lies more: men or women?
• I'm interested in your opinion, who cheats more often: men or women?
• Why do girls fight over guys?
• Why are girls afraid to meet first?
• Why do women want sex more than men, but try to hide it?

As you can see, each of these topics is interesting, it can be easily developed and it has a sexual connotation, but at the same time it does not carry anything vulgar in itself. Talking with a girl on such topics, you evoke such emotions in her as interest, embarrassment, gaiety, and allow her to liberate herself, which is extremely important on a date.

Boring topics such as computers, cars, IT, higher mathematics, physics, philosophy and high matters, which are so interesting to many of us, are better to bypass the tenth road on a date. The only exception is if the girl herself understands such topics. And even then, I don't recommend it. For example, if she works in the field of IT, then it is possible that she understands the latest computer developments, but it is also likely that during the whole day at work she has already talked so much about it that computers are sitting in her liver and now she would like to just relax and chat about something unpretentious. Imagine a girl wants to have fun and sleep with you, and you start telling her about testing new applications for the latest iPhone model. Well, isn't it stupid?

Remember ! If you are endowed with natural artistry, you can tell the girl some interesting facts about space or deep-sea fish in a fun way. It will be good if it has to be in the subject, as it will emphasize your versatile development. But you should not turn the whole date into a discussion of a similar topic if the girl herself is not interested in her. In addition, it is far from a fact that you yourself will not get bored talking with such a girl.

How to behave on a date in a cafe

On a date in a cafe, behave naturally. Then the girl will feel light and relaxed - you will rest.

Arriving at the cafe, take care of the girl, choose the table at which you will sit. From the very beginning of the date, start touching her. Not to be confused with pawing. Touches should be light and unobtrusive: help the girl take off her coat, gently hug her waist, take her hand, in that spirit.

Important! Start touching the girl from the very beginning. So she will quickly get used to your touch, and will not regard it as something surprising if you suddenly want to touch her. Although, if you are not yet sure if you want to seduce this particular girl, you can wait a little with touching.

It is best to choose a table in the corner, closer to the window - this place is more intimate. Do not choose a table on the aisle. If the cafe has tables with sofas or booths, you can take the girl right there. It is desirable that the lights in the cafe be dimmed.

You should sit down, either opposite the girl, or next to her. It is better to sit next to her, because here it will be easier to start hugging a girl, arouse and kiss her. It also happens that you sat opposite the girl and in the process of communication realized that it was time to get closer to her. In this case, you can just stand up and sit next to her, saying that you are attracted to her like a magnet. It will be even better if you tell the girl to move in with you herself. Just take her gently by the hand and say, "Come to me." If the girl starts to refuse, you can change the topic, for example, talk about something tender, continuing to caress her hand, and then again invite her to move to you or sit next to her yourself. Here it is important to carefully calibrate (observe, understand and evaluate) the behavior of the girl and act in accordance with it. If a young lady behaves coldly and reacts negatively to your attempts to touch her, then you should stop them for now and try to arouse more trust and interest in yourself.

Remember! If a girl reacts negatively to your attempts to touch her, then she has no trust or interest in you. In such cases, it is useful to act according to the principle: one step back, two forward. That is, back off a little - stop pestering, change the topic, lull her vigilance, interest her even more, and then resume her attack again.

If you don't like a girl during a date, there's nothing wrong with ending the conversation with her and leaving. Learn to save your time. It is important to maintain elementary courtesy. Remember that the person may have been preparing for this date for a long time, and since if you invited her, then be kind enough to give her half an hour of your time, except when she is clearly inadequate.

How long should a date last

Several pickup books give clear guidance that the first date should be no longer than 30 minutes. I would recommend that you act according to the circumstances. If you feel good and comfortable with a girl, you can walk with her at least all night. If you are interested in sleeping with her today, you should not take the girl by the hand after half an hour and run headlong from the cafe. It often happens that in half an hour you do not have time to arouse interest and trust in a girl. In the case of fast (quick seduction on the same evening), you may need to spend more time with her in a cafe in order to not only inspire confidence, but also sufficiently excite her. This may take 1-1.5 hours. Further, of course, there is nothing to do in the cafe. You should either take her to your home, or move to another place.

If you're just sorting through a few new girls in order to find the best among them and build a relationship with her, a date in a cafe in your case should last within 30-60 minutes. This will be enough to decide what to do with this girl next.

The question of payment: who should pay

No matter what they say, but in our society it is customary for a guy to pay for a girl. And women among themselves, as well as in the course of communication with male friends, in most situations condemn those guys who do not pay for a girl on a date. On the other hand, my experience shows what to do so that the girl paid for you on a date, you can quite simply. Often this is much more effective than paying for the girl yourself, but not always.

I usually try not to pay for those women with whom I am not sure that I will succeed. In other cases, I advise you to act according to the circumstances. If the communication goes well and I like the girl, I can pay for her. If I don't like it and want to get out as soon as possible, I suggest paying the bill separately. I will say right away that the question for me is not so much in money, but in desire itself. If I don't want to do something, I won't do it. And I'll be honest with you, sometimes I don't want to spend my money on a girl who acts like a fool.

Important! Sometimes, for strategic reasons, it is useful for the girl to pay for you herself. The fact is that when a person invests in something (both psychologically and financially), he begins to appreciate it more.

This technique is especially good for pretentious beauties who are used to the fact that men always pay for them.

You can promote a girl to pay a bill in several simple ways:

• Tell her simply and directly: "I would be pleased if you treated me to a cup of tea." It is advisable to tell her this before you enter the cafe;
• In the cafe itself: “I’m wondering, have you ever paid for a guy? I would be pleased if you would pay for me now. It's not about money, I'm just wondering if you are capable of it?
• If she was late (and girls are often late): “You are late and you will be punished - you have a cup of coffee” or “I was so cold here while I was waiting for you. I don't even know how you're supposed to make amends. You can buy me a cup of hot chocolate."

It is important to say all this with a sense of humor. I do not remember a case when a girl would refuse to pay for me and would stop communicating with me after that, and there were many such cases.

If you don’t like how a girl behaves on a date, and you don’t want to pay for her, then just say that you are used to paying separately - pay your half of the bill and, in theory, you can leave. You can directly tell the girl that she has so much. Indeed, I once had such a case. I invited a girl on a date, she unexpectedly invited me to go to one of the most expensive restaurants in my city. I agreed. I ordered tea and she ordered a cappuccino. In the process of communication, I realized that I did not want to continue anything with her and asked for the bill. When the waiter brought it, I said that she had to pay a certain amount, to which she replied that she had no money, and asked her to lend this amount. I asked her:

How did you go to such an expensive restaurant with no money?

– I don’t know, I’m used to always being paid for me.

In defense of women, I can say that this happened only once. Since the bill was small, I paid it, because I didn’t want to spoil my nerves, but you have the right to do your own thing in a similar situation and no one has the right to condemn you.

Remember! When you go on a date, always have some cash with you. It is not necessary to spend them, but they should be, just in case.

There is also a situation when the girl herself offers to pay the bill separately. In this case, again, you should act according to the circumstances. Sometimes you need to agree, and sometimes, to speed up the process of seduction, you should include a "real man" and insist that you pay for two. It all depends on your plans for this girl, as well as on her behavior.

Remember! I'm not teaching you to rip off poor women, live off of them, or be greedy. There are simply women who are not worth spending money on, or you need to figure out what is more important for her: you or your money?

How to end a date

A date in a cafe can end in one of the following scenarios:

• you go for a walk;
• you are moving to another place;
• you go to her or to your house;
• you say goodbye, arranging the next meeting;
• you say goodbye knowing that you will never see each other again;
• another variant.

Most often, a date in a cafe ends with a regular walk around the city at night. You can immediately take the girl home, or you can sit with her somewhere on a bench or go to the cinema, for example. If you have a car, this will be a huge plus. You can take her to some romantic place - look at the lights of the city at night or at the stars. In the car, you can excite a girl and take her home or have sex with her right there.

If you like a girl, in a cafe you can act according to one of two strategies:

• behave in such a way that she agrees to come to the next meeting;
• seduce her tonight.

The difference between these two strategies is only in the presence of one component - arousal. If you are interesting to her and the girl trusts you, then she will agree to meet with you again, and if she is also excited, then by perseverance, you can invite her to your home right today.

It happens that you want to seduce a girl today, but she won't. In this case, you should be persistent. If a girl goes into a specific refusal, we should remember our old rule: one step back, two steps forward. You should slow down a little and make sure that the girl agrees to meet with you again. Perhaps she will be more accommodating at the next meeting.

Summary: How to have a date in a cafe

In conclusion, I want to highlight a few important points:

• in a cafe, try to get to know your chosen one better;
• talk about fun topics, avoid boring stories;
• if you like a girl, your main task in a cafe is to interest her and inspire confidence;
• if you want to seduce her tonight, after arousing interest and trust, excite her and be persistent; if she refuses, behave in such a way that she agrees to meet with you again;
• do not spend much;
• Don't waste your time and resources on a girl who doesn't suit you.

A date at a restaurant - or cafe - can be called ideal. Both of you should not be distracted by many extraneous factors: people passing by, harsh street sounds, weather conditions. You are guaranteed not to freeze and you will not have to stealthily wipe the sweat that has come out inopportunely. You have the opportunity to completely relax, starting from the physical level - sitting is much easier than walking. In the end, you can get a better look at your date, look into his eyes, catch the shade of a smile. Agree, it is much more difficult to do this when walking.

In case you do not know what to do with your hands, there are many small things on the table, from a fork to a glass. Psychologists say that unconsciously stroking small objects indicates your desire for intimacy. As if you want to stroke your interlocutor, but, not being able to do this yet, transfer your desire to the object. Now that you know about this, you can watch a man: if his fingers periodically make stroking movements on a glass, then he dreams of your caresses. Just keep in mind that a man may do this on purpose to set you up in a sexual way. This is a well-known pick-up technique.

How to choose a restaurant for a date? Best of all, leave it to the man. Most likely, he will choose the institution where he has already been before. Here he will feel confident, and, in addition, he will be aware of the prices. This means that he does not have to worry about his solvency. Sometimes you have to watch how a guy and a girl in love enter a beautifully decorated pub, ordering only beer and nuts .. But when they bring the bill, the guy is embarrassed. And all because he did not know that this restaurant is designed for employees of foreign embassies, so the prices here are appropriate. In any case, you should have enough money with you so that you can pay yourself if something happens. Make sure that your joint order does not exceed this amount - and then you will insure yourself one hundred percent.

So, a date in a restaurant assumes that nothing distracts you from communication. Remember: in no case do not turn a date into an interview in which you are trying to determine your compatibility. Just enjoy the process of mutual recognition of each other, and you will draw conclusions later. It is foolish to expect that you will form the right opinion about your companion in one date. Most likely, you will have time to discern only some features in it, and you simply will not see most of it. Tune in to the fact that you will meet many more times before you start a serious relationship. Don't force things.

What to talk about on a date? Talk about general and "non-dangerous" topics: about your hobbies, about the latest movies you watched, about public events. Do not try to find out the "consistency" of a man. Questions about where he works and how much he earns will strain him. However, if you want, you can talk about your own work. Avoid talking exclusively on "women's" topics. These include discussions of girlfriends, gossip (especially malicious), everyday topics and discussion of rags and cosmetics. Find topics that both of you are really interested in.

If everything suddenly flew out of your head at once, and the interlocutor was also not the most talkative, talk about what you eat. Evaluate the taste of dishes and drinks, tell what you like to cook or try, ask the man about it. Talking about food always sets you in a more "homely" and cozy way. From the culinary theme, smoothly switch to the theme of travel. Tell us where you have been, remember a couple of funny stories. Such a conversation will be supported by the most shy interlocutor - after all, he went at least fishing!

On a date in a restaurant, you simply have to wear a dress or skirt. No pants, no sportswear! As close to classic as possible. The skirt should not be too short, but you can afford the highest heels - because today you do not have to walk! Make sure your perfume won't overpower your food by applying just two drops to your earlobes. Before going on a date, be sure to check your manicure. If, under normal conditions, unkempt nails can still be somehow hidden, then, sitting at a table in a restaurant, you will be forced to constantly keep your hands in sight. Just imagine how embarrassing it will be if your companion's eyes fall on the peeling paint on the nails!

By the way, about the views. The eyes, as you know, are the mirror of the soul. If a man avoids looking into your eyes or cannot hold your gaze for a long time, this is an alarm signal. Either he didn't like you, or he has some ulterior motives regarding you. It can be unequivocally said that he is not completely frank with you, and you should not trust him. True, there are burnt Casanovas who are able to lie, faithfully looking into your eyes and smiling most charmingly, but there are not so many of them.

Remember that while eating, some of the lipstick may smudge or "eat". You should definitely take with you a mirror, powder, lip pencil and the same lipstick that will be on you. After you've finished your main course, use any excuse to fix your makeup. Doing this at the table is not recommended, especially if the man is looking at you. If you can't send him to the bar for a cocktail, for example, or distract him by talking to the waiter, you'll have to retire to the ladies' room to "powder your nose." And in the literal sense.

Don't delay your date at the restaurant. You must spend a maximum of two hours there. You yourself will notice how you both get a little emotionally "tired". It is highly desirable to start gathering even before this moment. You should fly home on wings, and your admirer should look forward to the next date. To do this, you should not "oversaturate" communication, even if it is exceptionally pleasant.

And now - the moment of reckoning. When the waiter brings the bill, take out your wallet, but do not rush to open it. Look at the man with a questioning expression in his eyes. If he confidently and without hesitation says: "I'm paying," then smile and put the wallet back in your purse. Paying for your lady in a restaurant is a purely male prerogative, you shouldn't feel embarrassed or obligated. However, if the man hesitates, offer to pay the bill in half. Now many men imagine that girls go on dates only to profit at the expense of others. Show that you are not one of these people.

Let a man "look after" you - give a coat, open the door, hold your elbow on the stairs. At parting, thank him for a pleasant evening (or day), say that you really liked everything. It is very important to let a man know that he is competent enough in your eyes, that he did everything right. Without this, he will not feel full satisfaction. Add something personal: "You are very nice!", "I was interested with you!", "It's nice to talk with you!". Do not forget to smile goodbye - and wait for an invitation to the next date!

A first date, a dinner party, celebrating an important date in a close family circle - all this is an excellent occasion to organize a feast in a memorable place. Any trip to a restaurant is a special event and is accompanied by the selection of the appropriate image in the wardrobe. Stylishly chosen clothes, neat makeup and accessories will remain invaluable if loved ones who intend to share an important meal with you are not familiar with the basic rules of etiquette.

Peculiarities

The basics of restaurant service and etiquette have their own special distinctive features and seemingly insignificant little things that make up the overall impression of the evening. Simple rules begin to operate long before the meeting, for example, it has long been believed that a table in a restaurant should be booked by a man, and also, if possible, he should approach the meeting place a little earlier than the girl.

The first to enter the institution is also a man, if the evening takes place in the company of guests, then according to all the rules, the one who initiated the meeting “leads”, also initially confirming their subsequent consent to payment.

This rule may partially lose its relevance, but still works at secular and business meetings of company leaders and dinner parties during negotiations.

Visitors at the very entrance, according to all the rules, are met by the administrator, also called the head waiter, or the head waiter of the restaurant. The meeting involves greeting and checking the table reservation. If you have a wardrobe, you should leave outerwear there, as well as purchases or, for example, a work briefcase. A man always helps a woman undress by offering a helping hand.

Landing is as follows: a man always gives a woman a more advantageous landing place, for example, overlooking the window or the stage, if the evening involves musical accompaniment. Pushing back one of the chairs, he invites the lady to sit down. Having settled down at the reserved table and having studied the presented menu, you need to make an order.

At this point, you need to correctly call the waiter. Any way to attract attention through all sorts of sounds is considered very ignorant: tapping cutlery on a table or dishes, trying to call out. In such a situation, a simple gesture is enough - a wave of the hand or a nod of the head, accompanied by direct eye contact with the attendants. The most correct option would be to address any representative of the service personnel directly by the name, which is always written on the badge attached to the form.

The opportunity to be the first to order a dish is always given to a guest or a girl, while men follow, as for the choice of alcoholic beverages, it is trusted to the male sex. In principle, initially the distribution of the menu is as follows: the main menu is for the female half, the bar list is for the male.

Try to order the same number of dishes as your companion.

Vladimir Gridin asks an urgent question: what kind of food should a girl order on a first date if it happened in a restaurant?

A recent dinner conversation with two young maidens looking for love gave me a new perspective on food. What does a self-respecting girl eat on a first date? This question turned out to be so complicated, furnished with such a mass of rules and precautions, that it would be inexcusable not to study it. Study in the first place in order to warn young gentlemen of possible difficulties and ways to solve them.

Old-fashioned etiquette recommends that a gentleman himself choose a restaurant for a first date, and a lady - completely rely on her gentleman in matters of choosing menus and drinks. In practice, it turns out that the young man (more mature gentlemen already have some experience, and, having got bumps on their own mistakes, they more or less deftly cope with the situation) not only devours his passion with his eyes, but also quite substantially eats. And his beloved sits modestly with her eyes downcast and refinedly moves the salad from one side of the plate to the other. Not because I'm full of feelings, no! Just afraid to show themselves in a bad light. (Here it is gender inequality in its purest form: he eats both cheeks, she is fears.) Why? Yes, because he wants to comply with the formula "all so attractive, calling for kisses."

Being Blok's ephemeral stranger is not so easy. You won’t drink red wine - your lips and teeth will turn black. Attractive by the standards of the Middle Ages, when caries and teeth blackened from it were a sign of prosperity, because only the rich could overeat sugar to such an extent, now they are more likely to scare them away. In addition, red is so easy to put a spot on an airy light dress. Well, in fact, you will not come to the first date in mourning.

In general, it is better to exclude any dish that is viscous, moist and capable of planting a stain from the romantic menu. Brutal and too simple dishes like goulash and borscht will not get into it - you don’t meet with a field worker who needs to restore energy after a hard day’s work. Pasta, most likely, will also have to be excluded. Not everyone can handle it neatly, at least with its long views. Pilaf, paella and other crumbly dishes fall into the negative zone, which can accidentally fall out of a spoon on the way to wet red lips.

Turbulence is created by all dishes that need to be eaten with hands or complex appliances. We put an end to shawarma, pizza, pita with toppings. Crabs, snails, lobsters - everything is past, unless you want to create the impression of a shirt-girl, provocatively tearing claws and sucking out the flesh of shellfish with relish and whistle. The exception will be girls experienced in the use of dissecting crustacean instruments. Such people will be lucky with whole fish, while the rest will be in suspense: suddenly a small bone will come across.

We cross out from the menu and everything is so small that it can get stuck in the teeth: no poppy seed roll, rolls with sesame seeds or tobiko, no salad with finely chopped dill or other herbs. The ability to elegantly and imperceptibly check the condition of the teeth at the table is especially appreciated among the ladies. Reflective surfaces of appliances, bottles and glasses come to the rescue, especially anxious persons from time to time leave to “powder their nose”. In this case, it is worth waiting for at least five absences during dinner: the first time before ordering, once after each course, and the final chord after dinner, in order to finally make sure that the makeup is fresh.

So, what do we get in the dry residue? Calamari, fish fillets, steaks, salads and appetizers with not too thin or colored sauces, bulky drinks like lemonade, white wine. Surely you yourself remember something else. Based on this, now think about which restaurant to take your passion to, in order to give her the opportunity to make an indelible impression on you.